And so it begins

Well, technically it begins on Monday, but my wonderful, funny, gifted, sweet, amazing, talented, exasperating, infuriating, opinionated, too-smart-for-his-own-good son is now in his senior year at high school. He is my only child, and I am dreading this Empty Nest thing with everything in me. I love this kid, yes, but it's more than that. Since he's an only child, he and I have been "buddies" since Day One. Sure, the buddy thing is different now than it was when he was, say, three years old. Now he'd probably "rather be dipped in bubonic plague" than use the word "buddy" to describe his mother. But the truth remains that we are very close, and I have no idea at this point in the journey how I will survive with him not at home every day.

What really stinks is that I am also starting menopause. I believe that this is why women should get married and have their children EARLY in life (say, around age 20) -- I mean, menopause is enough of a Major Life Change without adding in the Major Life Change of having your last/only kid leave home. Assuming you like your kid. So not only do I have mood swings and cry at the drop of a hat for no reason, I also cry at the drop of a hat when I think about Aidan going off and leaving us.

We live in the Central Texas area, so I want him to go to UT, or Baylor, even Rice would be okay. He wants to major in linguistics, so A&M is out. UT would be the best choice, since they have one of the best linguistics programs in the country. So wouldn't you think he'd just choose that (UT) and go with it?

Ah, yes, but "Mom, that's not much of a change, is it, to stay close to home?" What's so bad about close-to-home? Why does he think he needs a Big Change? C'mon, Texas ain't that bad, kid. And neither are we. And we don't have the money to be flying him home to see us every month or so from, say, Chicago or Alberta. I'm not ready to go from seeing him every day to seeing him once or twice a year. That's a little abrupt.

So, yeah, there are going to be some struggles and some stresses this year like there have never been before.

I wish I was one of those parents who just got all excited about their kid going "out into the world," experiencing life, doing new things, meeting new people, seeing new vistas. In a way, I am. I mean, God did not create this kid so he could stick around our house for his entire life. I understand that, I'm cool with that (mostly). I want him to live the life God has for him. It's the "new vistas" thing that has me worried. I'm good with new vistas in a couple of years AFTER we've gotten used to him not living at home anymore. Not so much right now.

So, anyway, as my profile says, I'm a Christian (we all are in this family), and I'm trying hard to do this thing God's way, to not get in God's way, to encourage Aidan to be the man God wants him to be -- wherever that may end up being. So this blog is intended to chronicle my personal journey as we face this huge upheaval. My hope and prayer is that by the time graduation gets here, by the time he really does go "off" to college (whether that be across town or across the country), that God and I will have worked through it and I'll be okay.

Alright, Lord, here we go ...