Minnow Paws

WARNING: This is a brain dump caused by menopause. I'm not responsible for its content. You'll have to blame my hormones for that.

This has been a rough week (and it's only Tuesday!). I'm going through about 32 different things all at once, and I might jut go crazy. Of course there's the Aidan Leaving Home thing. At this point it looks like there is nowhere in the-place-they-don't-serve-breakfast that I can do that, that I can survive this awesome, amazing and wonderful kid NOT being a daily part of my life after 18 years.

My husband is stressed all the freaking time, and it's not fun. I love him, no worries there, but I might end up in a state hospital from this.

My health won't let me go out and do enough things to keep busy, so I have to manufacture stuff to do at home. I'm not into stamping or scrapping right now. Ditto genealogy. I am VERY into writing, so that's a good thing, but I am incredibly depressed that I can't get anyone to read my fictional blog, which is my Big Story. The novel I've been working on for the last four years (off and on), basically. And it ain't because I don't write well. I think there's some awesome stuff in there. I think it's mostly awesome stuff. But I can't even get my own husband to read it, and my mother can't because of glasses issues. (Nobody reads this blog, either, so I don't know why any of this surprises me.)

I think I have one "fan," who just happens to be writing her own fictional blog, so we kinda have to keep each other buoyed up. Except that she's got a lot of friends who read hers. I'm having a huge pity party about this tonight. And I'm writing it here because I'm frustrated and I just need somewhere to write it.

And Phil Joel is no longer one of the Newsboys. (Yeah, I know that was nearly four years ago that he quit, but some days it still really depresses me. His solo stuff is awesome, but I just think he and Peter should still be Newsboys. Technically Peter still is, but he's not on stage anymore. I say get rid of Michael Tait and put Pete and Phil back in, and it'll all be good.) I know, I'm 47 years old and I act like I'm 17 most of the time. It be what it be.

My spiritual life is lagging, and I worry that I've got mental issues. (See above paragraph.)

I cry at the drop of a hat. Buckets.

I don't want to do hormone therapy. Even bioidenticals can have health issues.

In spite of all this, I can still say God is good all the time.

Thank you, and good night.

How Long, O Lord, How Long?

We've been busy with lots of things lately, so I haven't had a chance (or the inclination or whatever) to blog lately, at least here, so I apologize to all my readers who have been absolutely dying to hear from me.

--- sound of hysterical laughter ---

Okay, back to reality.

I have been blogging, just not here. I'm writing a fictional blog (aka "blogfiction") and that is heaps of fun and has taken up a lot of my time. I'd already written most of the story in 3rd person, so I've been converting it to 1st person and trying to make it fit the concept of a blog, although my entries, by necessity, have to be longer than an average blog post. Anyway, if you're interested, you can check it out here: Caddie Emerging (first post)

This is what we've been dealing with lately on the college app front (just substitute the words "college essays" for "English lit project":


He did manage to get in his app to UChicago by the early app deadline of Nov. 1. Now he needs to get his butt in gear on the UT Honors College app, the UT 40 Acres Scholarship app, and the Rice Univ. application. ALL the UT stuff has to be in by December 1, I believe.

I'm so tired of pushing this kid to get stuff done. He was really fired up about getting everything in early back at the first of September, but then we discovered just how freaking many essays one has to write to apply to universities, and it all went downhill from there. I don't blame him. The whole system is stupid, but since I don't think it'll change between now and the time he has to get his apps in, we just have to live with it.

UT's football team has been REALLY stinking this year. We're not really into that, but I'm hoping maybe it'll mean fewer people will apply to UT if they thing the team is going to stink. Hey, I'm grasping at anything, here. UT is a very popular school and it's very hard to get in because of that. But you know that.

Anyway, we have a "Senior Parent/Student Brown Bag Lunch" coming up in another couple of weeks -- to measure for caps and gowns and to look at graduation announcement stationers. No way am I ready for this!

Ugh. Okay, I'm going off to do something else right now before I end up a teary mess sogging up the sofa ...